The Meaning of Family
by Shadenight123
Summary: Hiruzen had a great idea after the Kyuubi's rampage. He continued to have great ideas after Orochimaru's defection and even Danzo's insistence and the Uchiha's slaughter. Naruto Uzumaki would not grow alone, and if along the way other shinobi would not grow alone too...who ever said Shinobi had to be twisted and solitary individuals? No! What they need...was a family.
1. Family

Naruto Uzumaki stared at the silver-haired teenager with a mask on his face. His mouth hung open, a finger stuck inside it. He had ringed the doorbell.

Kakashi Hatake knew it was going to be one of 'those days'.

Anko Mitarashi grumbled from her spot on the couch. "Is it the brat?"

"Yep." Kakashi sighed, letting the boy in and closing the door a moment later. He remained in front of the closed door.

"It's another one of those days?" She sighed, stretching up from the sofa as the blond boy settled just next to her, before grabbing a pillow and trying to use it to hide himself. Anko grinned, and stood in wait for the 'final'.

There was a loud knock at the door.

Kakashi opened it.

"Is that stupid idiot here?" Sasuke asked, before looking around and zeroing in on the blond locks that seemed to emerge from beneath a hastily placed pillow-fort. "I can't believe it!"

Kakashi closed the door, and remained where he was.

There was a louder knocking.

He opened once more.

"Hello, I'm sorry Mister Hatake, but have Naruto and Sasuke perhaps come by?"

Iruka had a stressed smile on his face.

Now the pillow fort held both Naruto and Sasuke, hiding from the Academy instructor.

"I don't have the faintest clue," Kakashi said. "Did you lose them again, teacher Umino?"

Iruka hung his head low. "Really, those two…some days they just act up and disappear like this. Are my lessons really that boring?"

"I wouldn't know," Kakashi replied. "They'll come home eventually, and when they both do I'll be sure to sternly reprimand them."

"Please do," Iruka said. The Academy teacher left, and Kakashi closed the door.

He waited a heartbeat.

There was a polite knock at the door.

He opened the door once more and Shimura Danzo let himself in. "It is preposterous," he said calmly, as he took five steps inside before receiving a blond bullet to the stomach.

"Grandpa!"

"I am not your grandfather!" Danzo exclaimed. "And you should be at the Academy, studying, to become a shinobi."

Naruto happily ignored the 'not' in his exclamation, as well as the rest of his words. "But it was boring!"

Kakashi closed the door.

He waited.

There was another knock.

He opened the door and let Yamato inside.

"He's in here, isn't he?" the Anbu said, with a defeated sound in his voice. "They both are, aren't they?"

"Yep, it's one of those days," Kakashi said.

Yamato groaned.

Kakashi closed the door, and waited.

Five minutes later and there was a _furious_ knocking at the door that nearly unhinged it.

He opened and sidestepped Tsunade, as she marched inside. "Damn brats!" she roared. "I received another call from the Academy! Is it possible you can't stay a month without causing trouble!?"

Kakashi closed the door.

He checked his watch.

There was a soft knock.

He opened and sighed.

The Hokage sighed back, biting onto his pipe as he stepped inside. Kakashi closed the door and followed him. "It's another one of these days, uh?" Hiruzen said, stepping into the larger living room. Danzo and Tsunade were both yelling loudly —quite more than what was good for their age— towards the two squirming children in front of them. Well, Sasuke was squirming.

Naruto was happily ignoring it all and just nodding in rhythm.

Anko was chuckling while holding a dango stick in hand, shoving her elbow into Yamato's sides as she pointed at the random faces Naruto made when the two 'lecturers' ended up closing their eyes in the heat of their words on 'responsibilities' and 'bright future ahead of them if they didn't follow lessons seriously'.

Kakashi rolled his only visible eye.

"I still cannot believe this works out."

Hiruzen nodded sagely. "I should have thought about this a long, long time ago."

He sat down at a nearby chair, waiting for the story on 'duty, honor and above everything else not making anyone worry' to die down. He had an amused face on.

It had all begun with the Kyuubi attack, years before.

He couldn't just leave Naruto to live for himself, and he couldn't just leave him to anyone in particular.

Therefore, he had left him to Kakashi.

Only, he couldn't actually leave Kakashi alone in checking on a new born baby, and so he had forced Tsunade back by paying her debts —and Konoha was in need of the sannin anyway, whether she liked it or not.

Afterwards, Orochimaru had left the leaf, and he had once more ended up having to find a home for both his apprentice and his experiment —although they could have been pretty well both experiments.

Since they both needed routine medical check-ups anyway, he had made them live in the same place as the sannin.

It hadn't ended there, because of course Danzo had been against letting Orochimaru's apprentice —a traitor— stay in the same house as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

Thus Hiruzen had found the perfect, uttermost exhilarating solution —he still laughed at the thought— that a 'retired shinobi with nothing to do all day, Hokage-sama, and no, I am not leading Root at all' could do.

He had placed Danzo inside the house too.

Hiruzen had to bring a hand to his mouth to cover the smile that still menaced to erupt from his lips at the thought of Danzo's face when he had been told he'd be personally checking on the situation by himself.

The Uchiha coup dealt with, but thankfully, Itachi had done it on a day Sasuke had been 'sleeping over' with Naruto —and _because_ he had suggested to the boy traumatizing his younger brother would not work at all.

Sasuke hadn't taken it well, but Naruto wasn't easy to ignore and, since Sasuke couldn't live alone anyway…

Hiruzen mentally applauded his genius hindsight.

He would have preferred not to have to exterminate a founding clan of Konoha, but there had been no choice on that matter.

Still, with everyone around him being happy…that was a reward by itself.

The pleasant lull of the days to come…ah, how they soothed his old heart.

**Author's notes**

…

**Fluff-Filled story. **

**I regret nothing.**

**I REGRET NOTHING.**

***Escapes through the Fluff-Mobile, as the Angst-Muse gives chase on a side-car motorcycle***


	2. Friendly Days

The Meaning of Family

Chapter Two

Naruto Uzumaki had the _best family __**ever**__._

Those who didn't have a surname got one just like his —meaning they were family— and those who didn't have a surname like his but lived with him were family anyway. It was _**so**_ cool.

He had two older sisters —Shizune and Anko— who looked the opposite of one another. He had two cool older brothers —Kakashi and Yamato— who were, once more, the opposite of one another. He had two cool grandfathers who were, yet again, the opposite of one another. He had a very cool grandmother who could destroy stuff with her fists, and he had a brother, who was a bit of a duck-ass but clearly it was because there was enough 'cool' in the family his own coolness wasn't required.

The mornings in the Uzumaki household —or 'Family of Madmen and Madwomen' as some neighbors called them, which once more was a cool nickname— started pretty much the same.

Grandfather Danzo woke up early. He trained in the backyard until breakfast time, talking to himself most of the time —Naruto had checked, really, maybe his grandfather needed to chill a bit if he thought the bushes needed 'trimming' and the 'shadows' required a bit of working on.

It wasn't as if you could make a shadow your enemy, no?

Still, the ones who woke up next were always big brother Kakashi and Yamato. They actually had work most of the time, and they wore cool masks to boot —one day, he was going to get a cool mask too. After them, it was the turn of big sister Shizune.

She proceeded to prepare breakfast for everyone, before waking him and Sasuke up. Then, of course, it was big sister Anko's turn to wake up.

That normally ended within the next ten minutes, with wicked skills in needle throwing and yelps depending on who was on the receiving end of the attack.

It was very cool.

Frankly, Naruto knew the people around him weren't his real family —no one had ties of blood with him— but he didn't care. He had a wonderful family.

He loved it very much.

It was a crisp and breezy winter morning that saw both him and Sasuke head off to school. Normally, he'd whine up a storm, but on that day they were going to practice throwing weapons, and so he was actually eager to go to school.

Maybe he'd get to participate in the morning 'games' between Anko and Shizune, throwing his own needles in the mix!

Unknown to Naruto, Anko, Yamato and Kakashi shadowed both him and Sasuke.

After the attempt at the Hyuga heiress' kidnapping, security had increased around 'key' figures; namely, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki and the last of the Uchiha.

They took shifts, of course, because —obviously— no one sane of his or hers mind would ever follow Naruto for an entire day without breaks. He would run rather than walk, he would dash up and down Konoha without a care in the world, laughing loudly like a bundle of joy. On the positive side, he dressed in glaring neon orange and nobody had taught him the Henge yet, so it was still easy to find him when he got 'lost'.

The people around the street were always happy to see him. They talked of how good of a boy he was, and how he was such a kind-hearted kid to help around.

Because Naruto Uzumaki was a perfectly normal orphan boy, and his escort went unseen —or when seen, people mistook it for the Uchiha's escort rather than Naruto's.

Only few people knew who the Jinchuuriki of Konoha was, and that was because, frankly, Hiruzen had the brilliant idea to keep quiet on the 'status' of the Jinchuuriki-weapon. It wasn't like he had the intention of making Naruto a weapon, but if the enemy didn't know whether the Jinchuuriki was field-able or not, then they wouldn't attack out of fear of retaliation.

Hiruzen gazed from his crystal sphere in his office how life went by peacefully thanks to his brilliant ideas, how everyone was truly happy of the arrangements and how nothing could possibly go wrong…

That was when the teacup on his desk cracked.

Hiruzen took a deep unsettling breath.

Naruto Uzumaki didn't like school very much. On one side, he was a little bit jealous that Sasuke got all the attentions from the females in the classroom, on the other, he was angry that Sasuke never actually returned them.

"Can't you just, you know, pick one?" Naruto said suddenly, making Sasuke raise an eyebrow in his direction. "Just pick one, tell her you think she's cute or something like that, and they'll leave you alone."

"I tried that, idiot," Sasuke replied.

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "And what happened next?"

"I told her she had pretty hair. The other girls took fistfuls of it and made her go back home bald."

Naruto shuddered. "You have very, very creepy fan girls."

"I know;" Sasuke acquiesced. "But if they coo after the last heir of a powerful clan, who no longer has any family left and is extremely bitter, then they cannot be completely sane of mind, right?"

"You know what," Naruto remarked. "Maybe you should try confessing to a boy. See how that goes down."

"I already tried that," Sasuke replied once more, perfectly calm.

"Do I want to know how that went?" Naruto nervously chuckled. "And why the hell didn't I know about that!?"

"You come to school fewer times than me. I get bored, and so I try new ways to fend off my fan girls without you around."

Naruto whined, slamming his head against the desk of the classroom.

"So? Who did you confess to?"

"The teacher Mizuki," Sasuke said calmly.

"The teacher? Come on! You can't confess to a teacher."

"He tried to make me steal the forbidden scroll," Sasuke continued. "That's why I went to the Hokage and told him everything."

"Wait, is that why we had cake a few weeks back?"

"Exactly," Sasuke acquiesced. "I thought you remembered the reason for that. You know, the Hokage even asked me if I wanted to graduate early."

"What!? No fair! I need to try to confess to a teacher too then! And then what happened? Why did you refuse?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and looked at Naruto. "Because you barely come to school with me here and if I go, who the hell is going to get you in here in time for class?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke with glittering eyes and beautiful sparkles around his face. "Sasuke! You're a bro! I knew you were a true friend to me!"

Sasuke threw a rubber band at Naruto's forehead, making him wince and lose the sparkles. "Ouch! What was that for!?"

"After the confession, the fan girls began publishing Man on Man comics. I refuse to have you as a possible 'Uke' or 'Seme'. Get the hell out of the Bishoujo persona right now, before I beat the crap out of you."

Naruto pouted.

Sasuke sighed.

The attendance rate of Naruto increased after that day…much to Iruka's surprise.

Just like Naruto's confession to him.

And Sasuke face-planting on the floor with a loud scream of 'IDIOT!'

**Author's notes**

**Fluffy filled chapters.**

**Fluffy filled everything.**

**Fill you with fluff until you explode.**

**FLUFF. FLUFF. GET IT HERE. FRESH AND WARM AND FLUFFY.**

**MWUAHMWUAHMWUAH FLUFFFFFFFF.**


	3. Wonderful School Days

The Meaning of Family

Chapter Three

Naruto Uzumaki was having a great day.

His family had come to visit him during the school hours for the 'teacher-parent' meetings.

Iruka had aptly decided he needed a break two minutes after the start of the bell.

He wasn't paid enough to speak of Naruto's progresses with the Yami of Shinobi, two Anbu, a legendary Sannin, the Hokage and an hyperactive teenager with purple hair being manhandled roughly by another teenager with a sweet smile.

The way they stood in the back of the classroom, watching over Naruto and Sasuke's backs as they did their best impression of paying attention…it made Iruka feel as if he was the one being under scrutiny. It was only five minutes past eight soon…and he wanted a stiff drink.

"So," the teacher said, "Anyone can tell me what the first Hokage's special ability was?" The question was easy —made specifically to make the children look 'good' in the eyes of their parents.

Naruto's hand shot up first.

Iruka decided, just to 'pull the teeth out of the way', to let him go first.

He shouldn't have.

"The first Hokage could do the laundry better than his wife!"

Iruka's lips twitched —rather than in a smile, in a pale mockery of a grimace mixed with a 'I am going to bodily harm you, and I would throw this chalk at you if it weren't for your security entourage'.

"I mean as a _ninja_, Naruto. He had a special ability, the one for which he is the most famous…"

"Uh…Oh! Right! Grandma said he made the wickedest of salads!"

"Naruto!" Tsunade exclaimed.

"What?" Naruto turned, blinking. "That's what you said!"

"Yes, but how did you come to believe that was a ninja ability!?" Tsunade continued.

"You said his salads were so sick and filled with splinters they were a ninja weapon!" Naruto continued, "How cool was he to make vegetables into a weapon!? I can barely make a tomato into a weap—"

"_SO IT WAS YOU!_" Sasuke roared, gripping onto Naruto's neck. "You're the one who took my precious tomatoes!"

"I wanted to make a salad like great-grandpa!" Naruto replied, trying to free himself from Sasuke's attempts at choking the daylights out of him.

Danzo took that moment to cough politely. "Is that why I am missing a walking stick?"

"Duh! Splinters and all, right!?" Naruto shot back. "How else can you make the salad crunchy anyway?"

"By not adding wood splinters to it!" Tsunade barked.

"So, brat," Anko said offhandedly. "Who did you give the salad to?"

Naruto blinked.

He looked sideways and nervously chuckled.

"A guy I know," he said with a grin. It was such a kind-hearted smile that…nobody really bought it.

Mizuki never received visits while imprisoned. Of course, there were the exceptions. This time around, someone had presented him with a nice and crunchy salad —at least, judging by the message that said that a 'secret admirer' was very impressed with how he had tried to get the Uchiha heir to steal a forbidden scroll for him.

There even had been the three 'X' for kisses on the corner of the message.

He smiled brightly. Surely, Orochimaru-sama would soon set him free and had sent him a salad to tell him to be ready. Maybe it was a secret message of sorts; how shinobi-like to send messages with a salad!

The first bite was crunchy.

The blood and the screams of pain as the splinters carved their way through his mouth made him agonize as tears of blood fell down from his eyes. This wasn't a secret message; it wasn't a message at all.

The cell-guards shuddered, and looked to one another.

"Ibiki's tortures are inhuman," one whispered.

"Thank god we're not in there," the other said, holding his body tightly. "Only a monster could do something like that."

"He's screaming so high," the first one whimpered. "It scares me."

"It's all right. He's not torturing us," the second said. "Anko must have given Ibiki a few suggestions. That's it…"

The first guard nodded meekly, and then tried to silence the screams of pain with both hands to her ears.

The second soon followed.

Who were they, to claim 'inhuman' the torture methods of the T&I department?

Meanwhile, class at the Academy soon reached the bell signaling the lunch break. Apart from a general distrust of everyone for whatever lunch they had that included salads —and triple checking them for splinters— there were no important accidents worthy of notice.

If anything, the other students were even more in awe about the fact Naruto had the galls to sit on Danzo's lap in the courtyard where they were having their lunch —parents included.

The fact Shimura Danzo was a puce color of pure hatred and loathing meant absolutely nothing to the blond-haired blue-eyed kid, who grinned brightly at his _**gramps**_.

"And that over there is Sakura-chan! She has a very pretty forehead and her hair is really shiny!" Naruto nodded to himself as he spoke.

Sasuke shuddered as he kept his back against the tree trunk, eying warily around him as he took out his lunch-box.

He carefully moved a piece of rice towards his mouth, before swiftly flickering out of sight as a raving horde of fanatical fan-girls shot their way to the spot he had been a moment prior.

"Now Shizune-san, Anko-san!" Sasuke barked, and the two older kunoichi grinned as they managed a nigh-perfect rendition —with metal cable— of a 'squirming ball of raving fan-girls'.

With a wide grin, Anko kicked the ball away —letting it roll across the courtyard and into the helpless grasp of the girls' parents, who tried their best to disentangle their spawns.

For once, Sasuke could eat in peace.

He was very glad for this 'family' thing.

Hiruzen laughed good-heartedly, while giving a worried glance towards Kakashi who simply shrugged it off, his hand flipping through the pages of _Icha-Icha School Days._

"Heh-Heh…you're very naughty, Makoto-kun," Kakashi giggled to himself as he read on.

Yamato slowly inched away from his perverted Senpai.

Tsunade chugged down another bottle of Sakè, before giving a frown to a sparkling-eyed girl with buns on the back of her hair.

"You're Tsunade of the Sannin! You're Tsunade of the Sannin! I'm your greatest fan and can you please sign me an autograph pretty please!" Tenten gushed out, squirming from excitement.

"Sure, brat," Tsunade rolled her eyes as she was given…a kunai.

"Please! Carve it on my body, Tsunade-sama!" Tenten exclaimed giving her arm.

"Wouldn't…a piece of paper be better?" Tsunade said softly.

Tenten just smiled brighter. "Why? I get autographed and healed by the sannin at the same time! Please! Please!"

"You know what brat, where are your parents?" Tsunade asked.

Tenten gushed even more. "They're off working! They said it was stupid of me to try the shinobi academy, but I want to become a kunoichi like you so please sign my arm, please!"

"How about I give you a written autograph, and you can hang that on the wall, uh?" Tsunade tried next.

Tenten sharply took air in. "You would do that?"

"Yes, of course," Tsunade replied with a kind smile.

"You're the bestest of the sannin! I knew it! I'm going to be just like you when I grow up!"

"Haha! Glad to hear that, kid!"

Still…Tsunade felt a very cold shiver rush down her spine.

And she didn't know why.

**Author's notes.**

**I'm going to keep this as fluff-filled as possible.**

**And at the same time I'm going to be playing a game with you readers.**

**It's called the 'Puella Magica Madoka Game'.**

**You know how the game is played? No? I'll give you a hint. It's the same as the 'School Days' game.**

**Still no clue?**

**Uhm…then, read on.**


	4. Having Fun Avoiding School

The Meaning of Family

Chapter Four

Anko Mitarashi had been an orphan for most of her life. She knew it wasn't her fault, but the nagging feeling that she had done something wrong always stuck with her. Why else would her sensei abandon her too?

She didn't know what she had of wrong —maybe she wasn't demure enough, or girly enough— or maybe she was just different from the other girls of her age, but she never did found an adoptive family. She entered the shinobi world to have a high-paying job and retire early, in order to enjoy life to its fullest.

Her life had always been shitty after all; god had to render her due back, right?

He did, if only with granting her the possibility to live a sucky-filled life as the 'student of the traitorous sannin'.

At least, that had been her thought.

The Hokage had then inserted her within his project about 'Family' and forced her to live together with a bunch of lunatics of their own.

Nursing a stiff drink, she looked up at the blue sky of Konoha and sighed. Naruto was happily sitting next to her, his grin bright and bubbly.

"I like it when you catch me, big sister Anko!" he exclaimed suddenly a moment later, as the dango they ordered arrived to their table. "Big Brother Kakashi's no fun."

She grinned back. "Oh? And what about Yamato?"

"He always brings me back to the Academy," Naruto pouted. "It's like he doesn't even have a funny bone on his body!"

"Maybe that's because he needs one inside him," Anko replied. Naruto frowned. She snickered and rolled her eyes. "You'll find out what I mean when you'll grow older, brat."

Naruto just beamed at her his full and bright smile, and she returned it. They ate their dango before starting the very long and much panoramic return to the academy. "Why don't you like the academy?" she asked him, after a while.

"It's boring," pouted back Naruto. "And Sasuke's an annoying Duckbutt always studying and such. There's not a moment of fun —unless it's the break, but we're always hounded by Sasuke's fan girls, and we don't get any peace!"

Anko nodded. "I see. Is there anything else?"

Naruto shyly fidgeted with his index fingers. "I like hanging around with my big sisters or grandpa," he replied. Anko blinked. "I mean, what if tomorrow you're no longer here and I missed out on something because I went to some boring academy? And it's not like I can't become an awesome ninja by practicing only at home, right?"

"Oh," Anko murmured. She brought her left arm around Naruto's side of the head, before pushing him closer to her side to give him a light hug. "We're not going anywhere."

"But how can you be sure? I mean, I don't have any parents because they left me, so…who says you won't leave me one day too?"

"I'm sure your parents loved you very much, Naruto," Anko sighed. "But you've got a hell of a way to sour the mood, kid. I'll give you that." She ruffled his spiky blond hair. "Now, come on, back to smiling you brat!"

She began to tickle his sides, making him laugh as he tried in vain to free himself.

Anko laughed too. Naruto had such a wonderful bout of crystalline laughter that it was hard not to laugh together with him.

"Race you back to the academy, brat!" Anko exclaimed, and soon they both began their run back. She slowed her pace enough to let him win —just because, of course.

Iruka gripped in a head-lock Naruto the moment he ended back in the courtyard. "You! What did I tell you about running off!? It's dangerous, Naruto!" he growled.

"Oi," Anko exclaimed, "Don't manhandle the brat too much or he won't get enough blood to his brain…not that he has that much of a brain to begin with!"

"It's not fair, big sister Anko," Naruto pouted, before entering the academy pulled by the ear. "I'll visit Grandpa next time!"

Anko hummed and watched Naruto go, waving goodbye at him with a cheerful grin.

She sighed.

Maybe she could ask for a part-time job there? It would convince Naruto not to run off that fast again…

The spines of many children shuddered and trembled at that thought.

The Hokage's teacup number two cracked yet again.

A few hours later, and Danzo sighed, holding on to a teacup and gazing at his office deep within the bowels of Root.

It was a secret hideout; 'Hidden', 'Impossible to find', and mostly 'the only place he could act a bit broody'.

Yet now it was orange.

It was bright, neon orange with pink stripes and green dots.

He sipped his tea.

He waited a heartbeat.

The door creaked open to admit one of his Root operatives, his mask a dazzling mixture of golden and silver glitter.

"Danzo-sama," the operative said.

"I do not know," Danzo said truthfully, "Whether to be impressed or have a heart-attack. I will have both."

He took another sip of tea.

The operative remained quiet.

"Do bring in Tsunade, would you?"

The operative disappeared with a flicker of gold and silver.

Danzo proceeded to have a heart attack.

Naruto crossed his arms behind his back as he walked back home from school, Sasuke next to him.

"You're an idiot," Sasuke pointed out. "How are you going to graduate if you keep missing on lessons?"

"I'll find a way," Naruto replied with a shrug. "I'm awesome, you're awesome, we're team awesome, and we'll find a way."

"You're going to be the dead-last if you keep this up," Sasuke remarked.

"Yep, and that means that you get to train hard and study a lot more to become the Rookie of the Year."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You…You're a bastard sometimes, aren't you?"

"Dunno about that," Naruto grinned, "But it's too much hard work being the top of the class. You take that spot, I'll be dead last, and then we can get Sakura to be our prime kunoichi!"

"She's a fan girl!" Sasuke groaned.

"Yes, but I like her!" Naruto retorted. "She's got a pretty forehead and bright hair, and I mean, pink is such a beautiful color!"

Sasuke sighed. "She won't give you the time of the day with me around."

"But you're my brother, so you'll help me, right?"

Sasuke hung his shoulders and his head down, before nodding once. "The things I do for my family…"

Naruto gave him a brotherly punch on the shoulder, and Sasuke returned it a moment later.

"Should we stop by Ichiraku to get some ramen along the way?"

"Shizune said not to, or we'll spoil ourselves for dinner," Sasuke replied.

"But it's ramen! Ramen never—"

"No."

"But—"

"No!"

"Meanie," Naruto pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest and standing still.

"Just move, idiot." Sasuke sighed, gesturing towards home. "You can have ramen any other day."

"But…"

"No buts."

"We all have butts."

Sasuke gurgled down a curse in the back of his throat.

Naruto grinned and began to rush past him. "Last one home has no butt!"

"That's not how it works!" Sasuke yelled back, rushing to catch him.

All in all…

It was another beautiful day…

**Author's notes**

**Such beautiful things.**

**Such a beauty.**

**Fluff…Fluffy…Only fluff shall stands.**


	5. Heartwarming Anonymous Drinking

The Meaning of Family

Chapter Five

Hiruzen had hoped the team assignments to be less headache inducing this time around.

He watched with sick fascination as Kakashi entered, wrote down the name of the two students he wanted, and then proceeded to pick the first Kunoichi of the class and remark quite firmly that 'Either I get these three or I walk out on whatever team you wish to assign me'.

It was funny how Anko, of all people, sauntered in the next minute with a sheet outright demanding Naruto's insertion into the Torture and Interrogation squad department. The form had Ibiki's signature.

There was blood on the parchment too.

Hiruzen felt the impending headache increase when Danzo brought forth his suggestion to have Naruto 'enter a training camp' somewhere in 'Happy-Country of Happiness and Certainly not a Root-Secret Facility to obtain a Weapon for Konoha'.

He was tempted to let Naruto go, just to pinpoint the place with accuracy thanks to bright neon orange paint. At the same time, he knew Danzo wouldn't be offended if his offer ended up in the bin.

Tsunade wanted Sasuke to learn her medical skills.

Yamato wanted Sasuke because he was the quietest of the pair.

Shizune was fine with either of the boys.

Hiruzen's headache just grew.

Now, if only he could find a solution that would make everyone happy…

Well, except from Naruto failing the exams —something that he wouldn't, because someone had most strangely let him have a peek at the Kage Bunshin technique, and thus…

He didn't really want to remember past that.

His mind refused to understand how such a boy would be able to create such a lethal technique like the Harem No Jutsu. And the fact it was Naruto, of all people…

The Hokage coughed and cleared his head.

Team assignments…team assignments…he needed to place Naruto and Sasuke somewhere they would be capable of flourishing, and yet at the same time with someone who wouldn't be scared of having some of the strongest shinobi ever come by to 'talk to them'.

There really was no choice, in the end.

He was sure the unlucky guy would understand this was for the greater good of Konoha.

Asuma Sarutobi felt as if death had crawled over his stomach, taken a seat next to him, and begun dealing him a shitty poker hand by the time he opened his eyes the following morning.

He didn't know why it felt as if his dad was responsible for him feeling like hell, but he was sure the old man had done something to deserve his momentary thought about how easy it would be to fill with prune laxative his coffee cup in the morning.

Still, Asuma went about his daily business as usual, until the Hokage called him to receive the updated papers on which his students' names would be. It was tradition for the Sarutobi to train the Akimichi, the Yamanaka and the Nara.

It was a tradition that had lasted for as long as the village had been in place —that meant relatively little, since it was barely half a dozen of generations— but it was one Asuma hoped his old man would respect.

He received the paper and opened it calmly.

Next to him, Kakashi hummed as he did the same.

Anko was present too, and her look was pleased as she begun opening her paper.

There was a heartbeat of silence.

When Asuma raised his eyes from the paper, the Hokage was no longer there. A straw mannequin holding the semblance of the Hokage drawn in ink stood in his place, with the Hokage garments and all.

Six words scribbled on a note attached to the hat made Asuma mentally curse the day his father had decided to take a note out of Naruto Uzumaki's book.

"Take it like a man, son."

Asuma Sarutobi made the manliest of girlish shrieks as he ran for the hills, while Mitarashi Anko and Hatake Kakashi both growled at his retreating hide.

Meanwhile, the Hokage happily sipped away at his secret alcohol stash in the middle of the village, hidden under the guise of a poor misunderstood old man with white hair and a slightly overweight complexion.

They'd never find him.

And he needed a moment of peace for himself.

The fact there was an equally anonymous man, very thin and with an eye-patch over his right eye next to him doing the same thing absolutely didn't mean he and Danzo were actually drinking partners.

It was preposterous since they both couldn't drink —Tsunade's orders— and if she found them drinking, she'd have strong words on them.

So, two anonymous gentlemen drank alcohol on a bench in the park, watching with amusement as a certain Asuma Sarutobi dashed by screaming, followed by Hatake Kakashi with a Raikiri per hand and screaming 'Thunderous One Million Years of Pain' and Mitarashi Anko, a snake per hand yelling 'Pipe Cleaning Technique' much to the disgusted faces of her summoned snakes.

"Konoha used to be such a peaceful village," Danz—ahem! Anonymous old man said.

"Indeed," Hir—ahem, second old and average man said. "A pity, I tell you. An old man can't even have a drink in peace now."

"This is good stuff by the way," Anonymous old man said. "Where did you find it?"

"It's a secret," Average old man replied with a smirk. "If I told you, I'd have…I'd have to kill you, hic."

"You brew it at home."

"Damn it, Yamat—ahem, my son tattled again, didn't he?"

"He does brew the strongest of alcohols when he puts his mind to it. The Mokuton bloodline…I understand now why it was so prized."

"Indeed! Sensei…well, the First Hokage, he really liked his alcohol strong!"

And as the two nodded reminiscing their past, the screaming of Asuma in the background slowly drifted away, carried by the wind.

And all was right in the world.

Except Asuma's ability to sit later that night.

But that's a story for another time.

**Author's notes**

**Fluffiness, happiness, and everything nice.**


End file.
